Two Chess Jokes

Just because (and to give the Calvinists a rest),

I was having dinner with Garry Kasparov and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
 

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

From here, HT Stuart@echurch blog

The Calvinist Dilemma

A calvinist arrives at Heaven's gates and sees that there are two queues going in.   One is marked "predestined," and the other is marked "free will."  Being a good calvinist he wanders over to the predestined line.  After a few minutes an angel asks him, "why are you in this line?"  He replies, "I chose it."  The angel looks surprised, "well then, you should be in the free will line."  So our calvinist, now slightly miffed, obediently wanders over to the free will line.  Again, after a few minutes another angel asks him, "why are you in this line?"  He sullenly replies, "Someone made me come here."

Thanks to Norman for that